Archive for January, 2007

lost my fear of fallin’

Wednesday, January 31st, 2007

The rain that fall down. The night that so cold. I being afraid. Do I did wrong? I feel so crashing down. Everytime I hurt someone I hurt more too. But, I cover it , I cover it with my fuckin’ smile, I cover it in my eyes. And I crying so hard, I crying in my heart. What, happen in my heart, I still can’t fix it. I fallin’ in these rain. I fallin’ so deep. I wanna reach out your hand, I looked up to your sky to feel these rain and the light. The one that I still hold is "believe"

what would I do for my future???

Thursday, January 25th, 2007

Apa yang akan aku lakukan untuk masa depan??? what would i do in the future….What??? so Tell me What??? give me a sollution, and i would appreciate it.

Thursday, January 25th, 2007

so confuse……

i don’t know whats on my mind…….BeTe…..BoRinG…..Uhhhhh……SuNtUk……Tau……God, give me strength. God, give me something to hold on, coz i feel so useless here. i feel so miserable, i can’t do anything right. i feel i’m so pathetic. but, yea i’m really the pathetic one. think i’m the one who always get suffer. i always get hurt. no, i’m wrong, i’m nothin’. see many people more suffer than us. he he, apa sie sebenernya yg aku omongin ngelantur ajah….tau nie, pusing gara2 skripsi, gara2 memikirkan masa depan, apa yg akan aku lakukan buat masa depan???? he2 pikirannya sok tua…guuuubraaaakkkk…

sorry, for yesterday…

Friday, January 12th, 2007

mum, sorry for these day and yesterday…i maybe make you sad. i know you feel it, i can see that from your eyes even if you didn’t tell me. i’m just so awfull to doing all those right thing. i’m crashing down why you never see me, i’m tired doing all the thing that i dun like. i’ll try, to be a better, of course i try…don’t you see how much i try. It’s just never good enough for you maybe. i just want you to understand me, maybe i’m a little different. someday i’ll make you happy i promise mum. i’m sorry if i ever hurt you, even if i know you had forgive me, you always forgive me. yeah, i just feel so angry with you yesterday, but tomorrow i’ll get better mum. i luv you…so much…more that you know than i could ever show. mum, wish me for the best…and we gonna see a movie together again and listening to my fav music too( see, you can sing that lyrics, but not correct, he he). i luv doing all those thing with you.

MCR freAk

Friday, January 12th, 2007

feel like a teenagers again, hee hee hee…coz, now, i really in love with MCR. My biggest addiction now  was probably  MCR. Dunno why i act like these, as Gerard way says, what music about is that you finally feel you found someone that really understand you. i really want to see MCR show, someday i’ll make it come true…Mum, wish for me. I loved Gerard way too, i think he so fuckin’ awesome, much talent and the really one that i loved coz he can drawing so well. Shit, i want to draw as well as you too. It’s remain me with my brother, he always teach me to draw and paint. Now, he in heaven…and i will always remember you…

the past

Sunday, January 7th, 2007

The past is only the future…those words keep remaining in my head. I think about it over and over again. Everybody have a past so do

I…

but, we have a future too. Everything that we have done in the past is reflection for what we going to do in the future. We had a mistake we do the wrong way.  But, we can repair it from now and make it better in the next, in our future. So don’t give up if you feel so lose and fail coz tomorrow you’ll get better. If you just realize and think about your mistake you will raise again and learning about your past so you got a lesson to your future…the past is only the future, your past is only the future…

Gerard Quotes

Sunday, January 7th, 2007

Gerard Way  Quotes

"If you don’t go to high school you will definitely go to jail."

"I’d rather be a creature of the night than an old dude."

"So many people treat you like you’re a kid so you might as well act like one and throw your television out of the hotel window."

"Be Yourself, Don’t take anyone’s shit and never let them take you alive…"

"So how was Christmas for you guys? Did you all get lots of nice black t-shirts?"

"If you’re gonna buy me a present, don’t spend more than twenty five bucks, you’ll get a blowjob anyway."

"Surrounding myself with fans makes me feel like I’m not going through it alone."
"The Devil got landed with a shitty job, he has to deal with assholes everyday, he’s probably bored as hell."

"When I was writing it, I was remembering how hard it was to be a 16-year-old in high school. I always wanted to be an artist, so I was this loner kid who just got drunk all the time. I only had one real friend. There was a girl I really liked, and she ended up taking really sleazy photographs with her boyfriend, and that really crushed me, I was just swimming in this pit of despair, jealousy and alcoholism."

"It erases everything I hate about myself. Nothing can hurt me. I feel completely invincible. I feel like everyone else on that stage is invincible and we’re capable of anything. There’s no stopping us."

"I’d enjoy it if a guy grabbed my ass. I guess it all depends on how he grabbed it, too."

"When you are kissing a guy with a beard, it’s different."

"There’s such a lack of sex in music"

"It takes me a while to tell stories. I think it’s because I was drunk for three years"

"I was this weird loner kid who got drunk by himself all the time." (talking about high school)

"I have a nihilistic attitude so it’s like, the new gay… it’s popular." (Gerard on why we should give a damn about MCR)

"Look at me, with my pretty bracelet and tiara… I’m a fuckin’ princess!"

"Were not a festival band, playing during the day was something we had to get over, I was like uhh this sun stuff kind of sucks"

"When we first started out I had a really big issue and a lot of my loved ones had a really big issue with the fact that I was totally in pain up there and there was a time when I tried to hurt myself off stage, but I got over that. Like, you should never want to hurt yourself. You should love yourself. Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person and I think that that is going to be a lot of what the next record is about, not to plug it or anything. Like, it’s going to talk about dying and coming back to become what you totally want to become. We are all becoming what we want to become."

"What I Like about The Sims is that I don’t have a normal life at all, so I play this game where these people have these really boring, mundane lives. It’s fun. My Sims family is called the Cholly family. I don’t know why I picked that name; it’s kind of random. The teenage daughter is my favourite, because I just had her go through this Goth phase. She’s really kind of nerdy and she just became a concert violinist, which is pretty huge for the family. And she got into private school. But she started wearing black lipstick and she dyed her hair purple. It’s pretty huge."

"I went to school in drag, in art school and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick. You should see me as a chick. So I went as a girl, as like an experiment and it worked really well and everyone was really nice to me but I couldn’t talk obviously…you know train conductors were really cool to me on my commute…HA! I looked hot as a chick!"

"Craziest thing that ever happened to me was being attacked by a black bird. It pecked the shit out of my head. We were at this hotel called The Phoenix in San Francisco. We were leaving to go to a show the next morning and the bird just fuckin’ attacked my head. And the next day Slipknot were there, they were coming in as we were leaving, and they got attacked by birds too."

"Yeah, obviously we use vampires as a metaphor for something else, something deeper than just the supernatural. But there’s just something about the bloodsucking walking dead, that can say so much to people. There are really so many people trying to get control over you on a daily basis and steal your soul in some way, take a part of you…"

"Um, lots of people grab my ass. I’m actually starting to get this thing now where people grab my package. That actually happened once in Boston, it usually doesn’t happen. We went over to England and it happened at almost every show. I don’t really enjoy any kind of invasion of privacy like that I guess. Grabbing my package is obviously a total invasion of privacy I’m not into that at all."

"That’s what happens when you’re all borderline psychotic and therein lies the beauty of this band - our duality. There’s a duality to each band member too. There’s a desire to have this constant conflict. If we write a write a song and it turns out really poppy, we have to make the lyrics really fucked up. There’s psychosis to everything we do for sure. One day we’re probably gonna write this number one pop tune that will be about a massacre!"

"If for one minute you think you’re better than a sixteen year old girl in a Green Day t-shirt, you are sorely mistaken. Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band. You wore t

"If you don’t go to high school you will definitely go to jail."

"I’d rather be a creature of the night than an old dude."

"So many people treat you like you’re a kid so you might as well act like one and throw your television out of the hotel window."

"Be Yourself, Don’t take anyone’s shit and never let them take you alive…"

"So how was Christmas for you guys? Did you all get lots of nice black t-shirts?"

"If you’re gonna buy me a present, don’t spend more than twenty five bucks, you’ll get a blowjob anyway."

"Surrounding myself with fans makes me feel like I’m not going through it alone."
"The Devil got landed with a shitty job, he has to deal with assholes everyday, he’s probably bored as hell."

"When I was writing it, I was remembering how hard it was to be a 16-year-old in high school. I always wanted to be an artist, so I was this loner kid who just got drunk all the time. I only had one real friend. There was a girl I really liked, and she ended up taking really sleazy photographs with her boyfriend, and that really crushed me, I was just swimming in this pit of despair, jealousy and alcoholism."

"It erases everything I hate about myself. Nothing can hurt me. I feel completely invincible. I feel like everyone else on that stage is invincible and we’re capable of anything. There’s no stopping us."

"I’d enjoy it if a guy grabbed my ass. I guess it all depends on how he grabbed it, too."

"When you are kissing a guy with a beard, it’s different."

"There’s such a lack of sex in music"

"It takes me a while to tell stories. I think it’s because I was drunk for three years"

"I was this weird loner kid who got drunk by himself all the time." (talking about high school)

"I have a nihilistic attitude so it’s like, the new gay… it’s popular." (Gerard on why we should give a damn about MCR)

"Look at me, with my pretty bracelet and tiara… I’m a fuckin’ princess!"

"Were not a festival band, playing during the day was something we had to get over, I was like uhh this sun stuff kind of sucks"

"When we first started out I had a really big issue and a lot of my loved ones had a really big issue with the fact that I was totally in pain up there and there was a time when I tried to hurt myself off stage, but I got over that. Like, you should never want to hurt yourself. You should love yourself. Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person and I think that that is going to be a lot of what the next record is about, not to plug it or anything. Like, it’s going to talk about dying and coming back to become what you totally want to become. We are all becoming what we want to become."

"What I Like about The Sims is that I don’t have a normal life at all, so I play this game where these people have these really boring, mundane lives. It’s fun. My Sims family is called the Cholly family. I don’t know why I picked that name; it’s kind of random. The teenage daughter is my favourite, because I just had her go through this Goth phase. She’s really kind of nerdy and she just became a concert violinist, which is pretty huge for the family. And she got into private school. But she started wearing black lipstick and she dyed her hair purple. It’s pretty huge."

"I went to school in drag, in art school and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick. You should see me as a chick. So I went as a girl, as like an experiment and it worked really well and everyone was really nice to me but I couldn’t talk obviously…you know train conductors were really cool to me on my commute…HA! I looked hot as a chick!"

"Craziest thing that ever happened to me was being attacked by a black bird. It pecked the shit out of my head. We were at this hotel called The Phoenix in San Francisco. We were leaving to go to a show the next morning and the bird just fuckin’ attacked my head. And the next day Slipknot were there, they were coming in as we were leaving, and they got attacked by birds too."

"Yeah, obviously we use vampires as a metaphor for something else, something deeper than just the supernatural. But there’s just something about the bloodsucking walking dead, that can say so much to people. There are really so many people trying to get control over you on a daily basis and steal your soul in some way, take a part of you…"

"Um, lots of people grab my ass. I’m actually starting to get this thing now where people grab my package. That actually happened once in Boston, it usually doesn’t happen. We went over to England and it happened at almost every show. I don’t really enjoy any kind of invasion of privacy like that I guess. Grabbing my package is obviously a total invasion of privacy I’m not into that at all."

"That’s what happens when you’re all borderline psychotic and therein lies the beauty of this band - our duality. There’s a duality to each band member too. There’s a desire to have this constant conflict. If we write a write a song and it turns out really poppy, we have to make the lyrics really fucked up. There’s psychosis to everything we do for sure. One day we’re probably gonna write this number one pop tune that will be about a massacre!"

"If for one minute you think you’re better than a sixteen year old girl in a Green Day t-shirt, you are sorely mistaken. Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band. You wore their shirt, and sang every word. You didn’t know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. This is what music is about."

heir shirt, and sang every word. You didn’t know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. This is what music is about."

(Notice it, its means alot)

SONG

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007

Free from the torment of sin
All this I’m giving up
Much as the sun would decide to give in
Exploding to orange
And hear all the voices sing praises and hymns
Mark the birth of a change
Free from the torment of sin
All this I’m giving up

It’s not me
Buried wreckage my soul
It’s not me so who am I now

Over and over again
Light with a sharpened edge
Cut through the black empty space we call sky
Beginning the cycle that stays

And I know in my heart we all die
Like the day and the night
Like the sun in the sky
All this I’m giving up

It’s not me
Buried wreckage my soul
It’s not me so who am I now?

Is there another side?
Beat out the black and white
Place I could meet you by
A place on the other side
I’ll let you know when I go
When I’m gone

(I really love these song, the music, the lyric, cool, I love "The Used")

contemplation

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007

Finally I lose my burden, for me now…just keep breathing and continue my life. Everything that i’ve done before just become my memory, and I will not lookin’ back again. I wish, I just wish I can do much better now. Go ahead and doing right thing for myself and for people near me. Hurt, pain and disappointed just apart of life and part to be grow up. I’m happy, finally I understand the meaning of life. These life is best giving in my life, and I’m grateful. Here, breathing and listening to my heart beat and realize that life is the best giving that God ever give to me…